Don't look back
by druifje
Summary: Who does she think she is? Cutting my heart out of my chest and dancing the hoedown on it before putting it back.


**A/N:** And here is my second Glee one-shot! Again a Puck/Rachel because I am a bit obsessed with them. Hope you like it!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything Glee-ish.

***

"Do you miss it?" I was sitting quietly on the bleachers when she showed up, invading my private bubble of self-pity. And what does she mean by_ it_, really? The way her hair feels when I wrap my fingers in it. The way her body feels, pressed up against mine. Her soft fingers that gently wipe of the slushies I get in my face. Or maybe she just means football, since my eyes are directed to the field.

"Hell no." I take a guess and answer to the football thing. But it's a lie, but I would never show that I care about anything.

Then she takes place on the bench behind me. I am confused. Why the hell would she do that? I don't know what to say so I don't say anything. Which results in an awkward pause. I hate that. Because you both don't know what to say. And you have to carefully choose your words before breaking the silence. Otherwise it will just be more awkward.

"I hope you didn't choose Glee over football because of me." She finally says. Leaving me confused, again. Although I can guess why she would say such a thing. But I still wanna know for sure.

"Why?" But I think I already know the answer, and I don't think I will be happy with it.

"Because I don't think this relationship is gonna work out." And those ten words feel like the end of the world to me. Because I thought this could really work out. That this really could go somewhere. But I try to stay cool and don't let her show.

"It's cool, I was gonna break-up with you anyway." And I know that it really doesn't sound convincing. And she thinks so too.

"No, you weren't." And she is right. I wasn't gonna break up with her. Because for the first time in my life I actually liked the girl I was dating. Because for the first time I really could have seen myself growing old with a girl. But she just had to go and crush everything.

"Yes, I was." I'm still trying to convince her. And myself. But she still doesn't believe it. "You won't even let me touch your boobs." Like that will make her believe me. It only creates another awkward silence.

"It's Finn right?" Because even an idiot could see the looks she gave him. The looks she should give me. The looks I want her to give me. So she could see the way I looked at _her_.

"He's never gonna leave Quinn. Not with that baby in her belly." Another reason she should stay with me. Even though that Quinn's baby was actually my baby. And she would absolutely hate me when she found out.

She stays silent for a while. I do too. But it's not really awkward this time. Not _really_. More of a peaceful silence, where we're both thinking about the situation we're finding ourselves in.

Suddenly she stands up and comes to sit next to me. I'm confused. Again.

"I may not always let it show, but I don't want to hurt you, Noah." She looks me in the eye. I feel uncomfortable. And_ when_ did she start giving a damn about me?

"And letting _this_.." She points her finger between us, "go on isn't fair if we both aren't really into it."

But I am into it! How can I tell her that, how can I show her that? At this moment, with her face so close to mine, I can only think of one way. But I don't think she will appreciate it.

"I understand." I nod and try to actually look like I do.

I really don't understand.

She smiles one of her brilliant smiles and puts a hand on my shoulder. "I hope we can still be friends?"

Suddenly I get angry. Who does she think she is? Deciding for me what I feel. Planting little seeds of doubt in my mind. Cutting my heart out of my chest and dancing the hoedown on it before putting it back.

"We weren't friends before." I stand up so sudden that she is a bit startled. I turn my back to her and walk away, leaving her behind. I don't let myself look back, because I can't bear to see the hurt look on her face when knowing it is my fault.

***

**A/N:** I hope you liked it and I'm really sorry about mentioning the hoedown. It was the first thing that came to my mind and I think it would be very painful if Miley Cyrus was dancing it on your heart. With stilettos. Tell me what you think of this little one-shot. 


End file.
